Misogynistic Vignettes

NiceGuy had a contest on his forums - The 'Pretend to be An Ameriskank' Short-Story Contest. The second piece - alonso's entry - made me laugh out loud. Now, I know all women aren't like this, but I cannot tell you how many times I have met this caricature of modern American womanhood.

"Carl" was this sort-of cute guy I worked with. Now, I knew he had wanted me for a long time (it's sooooo obvious when these boys are infatuated with you), but this was during the time I was dating Alonso, so I'd never really given Carl any encouragement -- well, beyond just flirting with him and going out for drinks a few times, and sure, I kissed him once or twice after a few cosmos, but that obviously doesn't count.
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But right around this time, the thing with Alonso was basically over. I mean, I hadn't told him yet, or anything, but I'd pretty much decided he was too boring for me, and that I'd probably break up with him within a few months, so basically, I was single again. It was right about then that I decided I might give Carl a chance. Not that I told Carl about Alonso; that might discourage his interest.
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but right about then I got distracted because I got a call from Marco on my cell. I couldn't have talked to him for more than 20, 25 minutes at the most, and it was obviously necessary because we needed to plan our trip to the beach house next week, but Carl, who apparently has some sort of jealous stalker thing going on, was looking even more dissatisfied when I hung up
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you get the idea - hilarious